So not five minutes after posting my last blog post, I was immediately thinking of editing it to clarify a few points. Then the procrastinator in me thought it best to try and stretch that edit to it’s own post today!
Since I mentioned the “popular girl” that sent me a friend request had never directly bullied me as a kid, I feel like I should clarify why it still makes me uneasy.
She really was one of the 3-4 most popular girls in my elementary school, and while she’s been conservative/intelligent enough to lock down a lot of her own private information, I have to assume that she’s “friends” with a great many other people from my childhood.
It’s those unknown people that I’m most afraid of.
If I accept this request, will Facebook suddenly start “suggesting” me as a friend to my former bullies? Will those people have matured enough to just ignore me or leave me in peace now, or will they find new ways to attack me, even if I reject or block them?
Yes, some of this might seem like paranoia, but I strongly suggest anyone to go look at the NTDS report before you jump to that conclusion.
Sure, I can block them if they harass me again, but even trying to remember every person that’s ever hurt me, and pro-actively block them on Facebook, won’t actually protect me. One thing I’ve learned is that if people want to hurt you, they’ll find a way.
And don’t assume that recent publicity of transgender issues has helped at all; it hasn’t.
Caitlyn Jenner? She’s no advocate or role model. If she wanted to help trans people she should fund a non profit to help provide treatment/surgery to those without the ability to pay. Or she could tackle housing, vocational rehabilitation, etc.
Instead she’s deliberately exploiting less fortunate trans people for her own financial gain by producing a fucking reality tv program. (Quick aside here, At least Lana Wachowski isn’t exploiting other trans people in Sense 8, and just generally keeps herself out of the public spotlight. Kudos to her.)
And all those interviews Jenner gave? I was outed and verbally harassed much more frequently in public the weeks that she was in the news. Publicity like she’s going after just reminds the bigots that there are real people out in the world for them to hate/target. And sure, she has the money to avoid all that hate personally. I don’t. I can’t hire a bodyguard, or personal shopper, or drop tens of thousands of dollars on facial feminization surgeries to better “pass” in public. I dread when she’s in the news.
And the weeks that her magazine cover was in stores? Utter and complete misery. Everyone, absolutely everyone in public would stare at me, or outright point and laugh.
Caitlyn Jenner forcing herself into the media spotlight made my life objectively worse, she took away the tiny shred of anonymity that I had.
So what happens if suddenly a lot of unknown people from my past start seeing me as a “recommended” friend on Facebook?