For several months now I’ve been using the app Day One (Journal / Notes / Diary) – Bloom Built, LLC to force myself to write at least a few sentences every day, even though this normally doesn’t make it anywhere public.

One handy feature is the ability to set a daily reminder, and even popup a quick entry window from your menubar. These reminders also show you a simple writing prompt, and can send them to Notification Center in Mac OS X.

Granted, after a few weeks you’re likely to see some repeat prompts, but on the whole it’s a nice touch, especially if you’re particularly struggling to find something to write.

Last night a reminder I hadn’t seen before showed up, not really a prompt at all, just a statement.

This one struck me.

habitual cynicism

My initial reaction was cynical and negative, but I kept thinking about it until I went to bed, and still can’t quite shake it two days later. Do I really only have bad memories? I know there were good days or moments, but do they stand on their own? Is it possible to separate out the good moments from the overall context of my life? I feel like trying to isolate memories diminishes them; but trying to personally contextualize them makes them all negative/sad. And is there really any benefit to this?

I don’t know, I can’t really tie up this line of thought just yet.

The more I think about this, the more I’m reminded of an interesting conversation and thought experiment by CGPGrey which he talked about on Hello Internet 29. (the particular segment starts around the 54 minute mark)

Without hesitation, I would press the button.

One thought on “Memories

  1. Anon 16 October, 2015 / 03:06

    I ended up at your blog while searching to resolve some Hackintosh/Clover issues I was having. I then pilfered your very clean-looking softinverted Clover theme which was a welcome change to all the garish default choices. Out of curiosity, I read your About section and subsequently this blog post and so much of it resonated with my own life and thoughts.

    I know those emotions of feeling lost:
    The way time seemed to abandon you and leave you rooted in the past while the rest of the world continued around you like some endless time-lapse sequence. The way you cling to the few fond memories of better times but how such happiness now seem further and further out of your grasp.
    The longing for friendship and companionship but the thought of letting people get to know you drives you further into isolation. The way the few things that make you laugh or smile are short-lived as you feel undeserving of them. The way you daydream of a better life or a reset button back to a day when you could’ve chosen another path.

    They say misery loves company so I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. Whatever crappy thoughts you’ve had today I’ve probably had them too about 5 minutes ago. I think it’s ok to feel that way though, but it’s important not to lose yourself in the darkness. Those memories of Disneyland were real and the happiness you felt was real, and there’s still a lot of beauty in the world and joy to be found in little day-to-day things if you allow yourself to accept them as they are. We may not have much in our lives, but that shouldn’t be a reason to get us down, it just means we should be more grateful for what we do have.

    I don’t know if this rambling comment from an internet stranger will help you in any way but whatever the outcome I do hope you at least have a lovely day today. 🙂

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